ULTIMATE /co/NIVERSE: What if? #3

Spoiler:

"Me am horrible detective. Am never causing legal action. Am never having high-class pure virgin saints, and am have MANY daddy issues." Bizzao Saho wrapped his arms and cloak around the massive collection of Bizzaro bitches lining up to Bizzaro the fuck out of his dick; yup, life was good for the best detective in the Bizzaro world.

"Oh, Police Officer Maho Sange; how am you so bad?"

"OOOOOHHHHH!!!! WORST POLICE OFFICER IN SPACE MAHO SANGE; WHY AM ME SO UNSATISFIED AND UNORGASMIC?! (that's not a word.)"

"OHHHH! MAHO SANGE~~~" The bizzaro bitches were all over him. His long, smooth ass cloak and confident stride, Maho Sange decided he wasn't happy with these petty cheap ass hoes and set off in Bizzaro City to obtain the greatest piece of Bizzaro ass he could.

"Me am enjoy life." Vault narrated to himself, crouched on top of a building overlooking a bank.

"Me am make sure it continue forever." He continued, tensing himself on his fleshy, well shaped human legs.

"Me am want to watch people suffer forever." He spouted, body arching up a bit as the bank's alarms sounded.

"Me am protect life, and let people enjoy pain forever!" He shouted as the criminals ran out from the bank, ski masks and sacks of money, looking around in confusion before suddenly a pair of godly legs descended upon one of them, sprawling him out on the ground. One of his partners looked over to their attacker with wide eyes before whipping out his gun to fire at him, only to have the man in a skin-tight blue wind suit and a matching motorcycle helmet leap up over the path of the bullet, swinging his chiseled leg around to kick the robber in the back of the head, sending him to the ground right on top of his friend. The other two looked to each other before dropping the sacks and running off, arms flailing in the air.

"LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" They whaled as they ran off. Vault let them go. Then smiled beneath his helmet.

"Live long" He started as the roar of an engine was heard in the distance before a bright blue motorcycle sped onto the scene, zooming in on Vault's location and growing dangerously near to impact before he suddenly flipped into the air, landing with one foot on the seat and one at the center of the bars.

"AND SUFFER!" He shouted before speeding off while standing on his bike in an Olympian pose.