Oregon: Hot Spring Harbor

"...what kind of moron designed this place?" Valencruz could've SWORN he'd seen that No Smoking sign before...

He had managed to mind-control some guard and asked for directions and even then he STILL couldn't find anything.
Seriously, and the worst part? This place had maps EVERYWHERE! Like the jackass who designed it knew people would get lost.

You know, he didn't care anymore. Humans have been trying to figure out stuff about vampires for centuries, does he REALLY give two shits to learn they're still trying?

"...So...an exit then." Like it'd be easy to find. He heard gunfire and explosions coming in the direction he had just left (he thinks, he can't really remember where he JUST left..) and was, for some reason, worried about Signal's well-being.

"No I'm not." But...sires are suppose to have a deep mentally connection to their-

"Fuck that." Well, okay then. And so, Valencruz stealthily wandered around the labs ("Man it's foggy in here" "Is that a bat?" "AWW WHOS A GOOD DOGGY?") until he caught a glimpse of a familiar robot in what seemed like a locked room that only said "SCIENCE" in big bold font above the door.

As the vampire peered into the room, a thick fog rolled out as the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Future emerged, and it began:

"THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO, before the dawn of man as we knew him, there was Sir Santa of Claus, an ape-like creature making crude and pointless toys out of dinobones and his own waste, hurling them at chimp-like creatures with crinkled hands regardless of how they behaved the previous year. These so-called "toys" were buried as witches, and defecated upon, and hurled at predators when wakened by the searing grunts of children. It wasn't a holly jolly Christmas that year. For many were killed..."

and so on, in that fashion, you get the gist.

Meanwhile, some guards, hearing the distinctive sound metal makes when it is being forcefully torn asunder, surrounded the lady vampire once more. Again, they said nothing, but glared at her unholy nature through their visors, silently judging her, scorning her, shooting her. Presumably, of course. Except the last part. Two of the masked marauders were armed with flamethrowers, and unleashed a healthy dosage of fire from their flamethrowers. One of them was wearing a distinctive cross pendant. In fact, they all were. Save for one special little snowflake who chose to rock a Star of David motif.

Valencruz, oddly enough, didn't mind waiting for the robot to finish his story. I guess he liked the fog, still, he was somewhat confused by it all. Well, he knew thing to do.

"Would you happen to know the exit and the time?" He peered into the room the robot just came in and knew two things for sure.

He should've just stolen someone's watch and he hated robots.

"It's Christmas Time. And the only exit is there is no exit!"

The ghost continued:

A war-like race of elves from the Red Planet landed on the ice-encased Earth, and they were immediately enslaved by the unevolved Santa Ape to make his confused toys using galactic elfin technology. Toys were made into recognizable shapes and given names like "train, " but these toys were also thrown at predators and defecated upon because they were so stupid. Christmas still sucked, in a big way. "

Meanwhile, in a different room, far, far away from whatever was going on in places far, far away, our dutiful tinman tinkered with some plant matter, managing to create a sort of serum or something or over.

He spilled but a mere drop on a small sample of ash he saved, and noticed they began to burn and smoke, almost as if they still wanted to burn. Curious. He made a mental note of what he had done and saved a syringe of the fluid in his robot utility belt.

Signal looked ridiculous, moreso than the default outfit she wears, but the lab coat with the bloody collar and left sleeve combined with the bomb disposal helmet just added to how funny she looked. When the guarded men surrounded her, most of them were armed but didn't fire... except for the ones with flamethrowers, who DID fire at her. She flew up to the ceiling, clung on it, and began skittering away from the fire. WOW that was hot! Moreso than usual. The brim of her coat (was it really hers in the end?) was charred but it would survive.

"Guys, I know that you hate me and there's many, MANY things intrinsically wrong with my appearance, but please LISTEN before you set this whole place aflame!" She landed on the floor. "I mean seriously, the LAST thing I want to do is figure out how to escape a burning maze with the lot of you in tow!"

Realizing that this would be a good time to do so, Signal lowered the visor of her helmet.

They threatened her life, didn't they? That means that she has ALL rights to tear them to shreds!

...but she also wanted to AVOID bloodshed, to avoid what usually followed of Signal "defending herself" or Signal "stopping the bad guys."

So she flew. She rocketed out of the locker room and needed to get away... anywhere but here! And her thoughts trailed to Val. Something told her there was something he has to do. But what? "No time for that," Signal tells herself. She flies past a map, backs up, and takes a good look. Maybe she can find a–

...this is a map? Whoever designed this place needs to be hit over the head repeatedly. Maybe be bled out, too. Yeah, that sounds nice...

Hey, why does this part of the map have such an obvious gap?

Signal tries her best to memorize the map and then sets off for that blank space. If she got far enough, maybe they'd give up.

Figuring he'd get nothing more out of the robot, Valencruz continued on his way.

"Hm...I wonder if Santa Claus is a vampire...it'd explain how he gets into people's homes...or why he leaves at night..." He continued to ponder this obviously important question of the century, when he, at last, came across some stairs.

"...Least I know there are other floors." Batcruz flew up to the topmost floor this particular set of stairs allowed and went exploring, and what did he find? Well...

"ALL HAIL LORD VAL!" Old habits die hard. I'm certain Val's new fierce squadron of a janitor and "I don't work here I'm just a temp" will strike terror into ALL his enemies.

Signal got lost very, very quickly. The dead end she found indeed had a room there the map didn't show. But then, the map was rather poorly made. A poor map for a poor facility. Goddamnit.

She searched every single hallway, going back when she didn't find any stairs. This resulted in her going in circles multiple times and gave up. She then looked up to see a vent. It looked about big enough for her to fit. Maybe she could...?

Signal removed the grate with her hands, amplifying her strength enough that she could remove them without causing a ruckus like she did with the locker doors. Yeah, she definitely had to be more careful here. Signal slipped inside the vent and used her telekinesis to place the grate back, bending it so that it stuck to the frame as if it was never removed.

The vents barely had any room, but she could just fly through them and navigate past any obstacles. As they say, the fastest way from A to B is a straight line. Hopefully the floor to freedom would be up there at the exit of this vent.

Still more and more guards scoured the U-Level, searching for the rogue test subject. There was too much at stake to let this creature get away: not only on a scientific scale, but a "I-want-my-children-to-live-in-a-vampire-free-world" scale, like Obama promised.

Eventually, they cornered the teenage witch at the Nucleolus, a towering structure that spanned all five of the underground levels and encompassed many of the lab's bureaucratic division: Legal matters, for one, and the library - both the digital and paper versions. Of course, U-Level only contained the paper flavor, so some of the men reluctantly lowered their flamethrowers as the cautiously treaded inwards.

They had since lost visual when they did eventually catch up to her, or presumably caught up to her, so many of the men stood dumbstruck as their search of the library yielded no results.

On the upper four levels, many men were summoned to continue their search for the creature, and search they did. The Nucleolus was the hub of activity for a nucleus, and this tower was the center of activity for the labs, except for the places where actual work got done, of course. Still, it stood to reason that someone unfamiliar with the area would try to find their way here.

"Now ya see Lord Val, the trick is to read the map SIDEWAYS, easy mistake to make, I'll get you out of here...wait, erm...was it this way or....huh, could've sworn I always take this way, I think" Of all people, Val figured a janitor would be best for this.

"When I get out of here, I will make it my unlife's mission to find the architect and murder him." Valencruz muttered under his breath, but hey, some good news.

"Lord Valencruz? I've got the information you wanted. It seems sires are usually suppose to teach their spawns, and have a power psychic connection with them, being able to send them commands, messages, and images with ease through their minds alone, according to XxXD4rKK1llAXxX." His second mindslave had a smartphone, so, what did he use this powerful piece of technology for? Yup. Google.

"Psychically implant images huh?" Suddenly, things he questioned when he became a vampire made sense; along with the realization that his sire was a dick. Speaking of...

Valencruz smiled, and; obviously not being able to wait to PSYCHICALLY fuck with people, decided to try it out.
And so, he focused....felt the connection he shared with his spawn and used such a spiritually powerful thing to...well...

Let's just say there were 3 woman, a man, a cup, a bear, an extra long garden hose, and....good god Valencruz, WHY would you imagine that?!

Mentally scarring obscenities aside, Valencruz's guide eventually led him to some important looking door that seemed to belong to a strange tower...

That would indeed stand to reason were it not that she was only taking the vents because the other options was to blast her way out. At least it didn't come to that.

When Signal got out of the vent, she found herself in a library. It reminded her of home, of the quieter days of sitting in a bookstore browsing what's new to read (at least before she decides that it's a good day to steal Asimov's books). She flew around with a little less caution now since there was more freedom to move and more places to hide. Signal flew to the highest floor, looking for any door that may lead out of here.

She does, however, stay close to the walls and hiding by the shelves.

It would be stupid of them to use their flamethrowers in such a flammable place; maybe she could ask one of those men a question concerning the time...?

And then, in her head, she received... THAT. Oh god what is even going on here!? What is that lady doing with that hose!? And the bear... THE BEAR... AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH


If anyone were to find Signal, she'd be curled up, hugging her knees with a look of terror on her face. Whatever her eyes were seeing of reality, they were currently overrided with what her sire sent her.

"Fuck! Always with this stuff right around supper time!" One of the men loudly complained as he ducked between a hall of books.

"I hear you, buddy. Martha's making lasagna!" Another proclaimed in a thick, comically stereotypical Italian accent.

"I thought Martha took her own life and that of both of your children due to fit of crippling depression, untreated violent psychosis and an absentee husband?" A third inquired.

"Shut the fuck up, Larry." The first shouted.

It was then that one of the men, the one with the Star of David pendant and flamethrower, happened upon the cowering little girl, huddled in a corner, eyes wide shut.

"Hey guys! Fellas! Guys! Oy vey, with the mushugna!" He complained, loudly enough for the guards to gather around him, see the trembling vampirette, and aim their firearms. But, not the ones that shot fire.

"Hmm...How do I know if it worked?" Valencruz sat and pondered this for a while, then decided he should continue onwards. His two servants behind him, Val entered the tower with the winding staircase and proceeded to ascend upwards, after all, up is usually a good direction to go, right?

As the ghastly creature ascended away from U-Level, past A- and G- levels, the elderly janitor insisted on being allowed a few moments to rest.

It was then that one brave guard charged down the stairwell brandishing a fire axe, attacking the intruder with the intent of studying how head liberation affects vampiric bodily functions. Being a fire axe, of course, it had a red head and a silver edge. Is silver even good for cutting? Let's find out.

Ah, the axe. A longtime useful weapon for murdering. Of course, it went out of a style when some dude realized "Why just have the end be sharp?" and started making bigass swords.
This gentlemen hadn't caught on, of course, he also doesn't realize a vampire's greatly enhanced physical attributes such as...

The speed, agility, and reflexes need to grab onto the handle of the axe; below the blade, like so.
The strength needed to stop one mid-swing, like so.
And the resilience needed to not hurt one's hand while doing such a thing, like so.

One tossed off axe later, Val began to wonder if someone was underestimating him. For example, why would one of his mind-slaves ever complain? The only who could have was Ashley, who may or may not have been a mind-slave to begin with. And why come at him with such a pitiful attack?

Ignoring the usual rules, Valencruz felt nothing as he tossed his attacker over the guardrails and sent him plummeting to his death, the moron deserved it.

Besides, when people are trying to kill you that usually means you're going the right way, and so, Val and his 100% completely dominated mind slaves continued on ahead.

Spoiler:

Eventually, the stairs would no longer lead anywhere, save for two exits. One door said T-Level, the other read EXIT, in all caps. It was mostly faded away, but no one seemed to mind since the people working there probably knew what was behind it anyway. How many things could EXIT stand for? I don't know. Probably lots of things.

It would yet to be seen what the vampire would do when faced with such a daunting decision. Would he break under the enormous pressure? Perhaps.

"Wonder what all these letters stand for...
T....
T....
T...rex. That MUST be, they're working on...a....robotic, vampire Trex!" Truly, one should marvel at our Lord's genius. Still, this has been going on for too long and I have other plans for Valencruz, and so, Val will have to face the threat of the robot vampire Tyrannosaurusrex when the time comes. He made his two servants walk in front of them in case he needed to use them as shields, and stepped through the EXIT door, having been fully assured that it is indeed night because that on guy had a smartphone.

Arriving in the Exocytosis Industrial Technologies lab, long since empty of human life since many of the personnel had evacuated earlier, the Janitor shrugged his shoulders and merely sighed "Oh, you probably should've gone left. Oh well."

His body then instinctively began sweeping the lab's floors. Apparently the desire for minimum wage triumphs all. Who knew janitors had such indomitable will?

The gentle hum of fluorescent lighting hung in the air. Nothing of interest would be found on first sight, as most of the relevant things would've been sealed away in the lockers and cabinets that lied against the walls.

....Exasperated, and more than tired of this place, Valencruz turned to his followers and asked but one thing.

"Are we above ground?"

The Janitor responded as he swept:
"No, there's a floor above us that is above ground. I wouldn't go up there, though. They says there's vampires! Spooky! I'm too old to for that sort of stuff, really. If a vampire showed up here, you know what I'd do? For my first wish I'd ask for infinite wishes! Ye can do that, right?"

The poor senile old man continued to ramble as he confused more and more magical creatures. It would be adorable if it wasn't so sad.

Valencruz, seeing it as an act of mercy, drained the old man and set him down, his blood would be useless to him anyways.

Leaving him down but not dead, he walked out of the annoying room and entered the robotic vampire Trex testing area. As soon as he was one floor above where he was, he'd start breaking down walls.

Signal slowly unfurled from her catatonic position. Wow that was a doozy. It's cleared her head of a lot of a thoughts, though considering how easily she was overrided... wait, she has powers for this!

Signal placed her index and middle fingers on her temples. She concentrated, focused on the thought, disgusting as it was... and it haunted her head no more. That power sure was useless 98% of the time, but when it came in handy, BOY did it come in handy! As she got up, she realized that four of the people sent to kill her, well, had found her. At the very least the place won't go up in flames since the guy with the flamethrower had turned it off.

"Look, please let me explain. I didn't ask to be a vampire; really, who does?" In her head, though, she sure damn thought of it a lot. "But just because I'm a vamp now doesn't mean I want to die, otherwise I would have stepped out into the sun whenever I had the chance." Signal began to panic a little; these guys were still packing silver heat, right?

"Okay, let's just say you are just a normal well meaning person," One of them begins. "Let's just say you aren't a horrible, soulless and twisted parody of mankind. Let's say you are sentient, logical and capable of feeling, like a human being who isn't Devon's dead wife."

A single tear glistened in Devon's eye.

"That's fine and peachy then, but here's the thing-your desire to live, as a vampire, contradicts our desire to live, as responsible taxpaying Americans, and perhaps equally as important, as human beings."

Two of the men nodded in agreement while the third dropped to his knees into a puddle of immeasurable sadness.

"I'm forty percent sure these scientists don't want you dead either. Forty! I've never been forty anything in my life. If I were you, I'd come peacefully and let them science you or whatever, then pray to Satan or whatever demon spawned you that they'd let you go when they were done with you. It's either that or die where you kneel, like I'm sure Devon wants to do."

Meanwhile, the men heard a ruckus seemingly coming from upstairs, as if someone was stripping away the walls in a strange escape attempt.

"Oy! That dinosaurs are gonna be the end of me!" The one with the flamethrower announces. "It's like those geneticists are tryingta make us all kaput! Why don't they just get rid of that monster! Their monsterphiles!"

"If you're going to present your argument like that..." Signal used her telekinesis to yank the men's weapons away, including the flamethrower (so the nozzle was simply held out of the wielder's reach). "Then I can honestly say that I have no way to counter it that also doesn't make me sound like I'm somehow superior to you or that uses appeal to nature. However... I hope you do know that the vampire that, uh, 'made' me is somewhere in here trying to get out, and he's MUCH more powerful than me. Just a little hint, is all." She shrugged, pulling the guns to her.

She them restrains all four men, keeping their limbs bound to their body, allowing enough movement on the one with the flamethrower to have the fuel pack slipped off of him. "I'm just going to take these because, in a closed and confined place like this, it's as deadly for me as it is for you." Signal lets them go of their 'restraints', opens a door, and flies off through the corridor. It feels like she's getting closer and closer to the surface, and closer and closer to freedom, too.

No, fuck dinosaurs. I want to leave.

And so, Val traverses through Floor T, eventually finding another set of stairs. I know what you're thinking, "How does a vampire just WALK through the facility?" Here you go.

A. Turn into fog and float out

B. Mind-Control everyone who sees him

C. Get into his giant mech.

Valencruz, obviously going the C approach, at last makes it to what he assumes to be 'final' staircase. Before going to the above ground floors and just breaking a wall down, he realizes it would be in bad taste to leave his spawn without a single lesson and so, connecting to the bond between spawn and sire again, he gives Signal her first and most important lesson:

"Practice your evil laugh. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

When the four men were able to move again, one them groaned, "Way to go Devon! You let the vampire get away! We had her right where we wanted her!"

The other two agreed, chiming in "Wow, it's no wonder everyone you've ever loved left you; you suck, bro!" and "I can't believe that little putz stole moi flamethrower! With the resistance and the psychic-ness and the paralyzation and the theft!"

The three men walked as the attempted to pursue the she-devil, when behind them they heard a gunshot.

"Wow," one responded in disbelief.
The other simply whistled in awe.
The third, however, passed out, halving their quartet into a duo.

Eventually, the two men resumed their gait, leaving their more frail friend in the company of their more headless friend. Such is life in these trying times. They still had a vampire to catch.

"Hey, Larry, why do you think he did it?"
"Probably because she saw a guy shoot himself in the head, Ted."
"No no, not Tyrone. I meant Evan."
"You mean Devon?"
"Yeah, right, whatever."
"I dunno, probably because he was such a faggot!"
"Noice."

Jesus, did these guys come from /b/ or something? Eventually, they reached the penultimate below ground floor where they regrouped with other guards. Many men had gotten sick of this shit and gone home because they were still earning a security guard's wages, which is to say, not much. Other were probably dealing with Behemoth, I guess? Where is that guy?

The duo became an octet, which then became a dodecahedron. I don't know what a group of twelve people is called; sue me.

The group chattered as they searched, yielding all attempts they had of stealth. On piped up and inquired why they were only looking for one vampire. One of the others announced that she as slower, and that her powers were more enigmatic and required further study. A third stated how that weird robot said "This is all that is needed." when asked about the other guys ashes. At the end of the day, the facility was devoted to science and not to preventing dangerous criminals from escaping and terrorizing mankind; that's Oprah's job, and she does it through her book club.

Meanwhile, Mr. Jan Itor had awoken in a daze. Shit, if anyone caught him sleeping on the job it'd be the end for his employment. He scurried about the halls, attempting to look busy until he came upon his old friend by chance.

He was disappointed we he saw his only friend depart, and cried a little bit. He didn't cry when his friends died in war, or when his grand kids cut him out of their lives, or when his wife passed away, but dammit, why was the world conspiring to get him? On top of all that, he had to clean up this mess. Damn it all to hell!

Meanmeanwhile, the guards patrolling the outside of the complex happened upon a young lad. Remembering their orders, they opened fire on the poor boy with the intent to kill. Lockdown is serious business.