ULTIMATE /co/NIVERSE: What if? #2 (NSFW)

Signal curls up, looking at Zealot. Her face is stoic, but that's just a response to her own self being, well, riddled with fear.

"Should I have just let him die, then? Granted, he... hmm."

Yeah, Signal had just backed herself into a corner with no way out.

"If I am a monster, wouldn't that mean I don't..."

Really, lowering yourself to an animal to excuse your own actions? 'That's kind of what I am.' Yeah, that's true.

"...wouldn't that mean I'm driven more by instinct then? So then..."

No. Don't do this. You will sorely regret it.

"One would need to assume and assure dominance in order for this to not happen again... right?"

This is gonna suck.

Sahogod, Greatest Detective Ever, slowly moves over to Signal and whispers.

"It's okay I planned for this." He may have an unknown amount of Saho-clones, but there's only one Signal....or is there?

"Tada!" He dramatically moves around his cloak to present...yes...ANOTHER Signal. Completely human, but with no powers. How? Well...

"You see, it all started when I got a call from my future self who told me exactly what happened in this situation. So, until time-messages were possible and I kept myself 'alive' via body-clones and brain transfers; I sent myself a message to the past telling myself to prepare a Signal clone JUST for this moment. Isn't that right, Lulu-honey?"

"YES. GREAT DETECTIVE: SAHO MANGE" The Signal clone said robotically

"Also I made improvements."

"Dominance? No; that's not something that gets offered. I offer the chance to belong to me-that's all. No more, no less. You denied it with this action, and the alternative is death. Anything else to say?"

Twirling the stick around in his hand he begins advancing on her. Glancing over at Saho, he annoyedly moves his hand to the wall, tearing off part of it and throwing it at both him and the faux-Signal.

Signal looked at the clone and the clone looked at her.

"Uh... what's with the lack of hips? Hair's kinda longer, eyes are... more blue?"

Signal then looks at Saho, then at his torn off arm, then at Zealot.

"Honestly, I have nothing to say that won't be able to support me, aside from mentioning the Ship of Theseus."

She realizes, in hindsight, that this argument PROBABLY could have worked had she said it when they met again at the Harbor, but it was much too late.

Mange easily avoids it. With his agility? No. His Signal clone just broke it FOR him

"By the way, do you ever wonder who kills the gods? What person would eventually be smart enough to take out someone as great as you, Zelly? Better yet; if I can talk to my future self....how far IN the future? If I can replicate myself and make myself immortal...where are YOU in this timeline? Is it our timeline or an alternative universe? See, Zelly. In the future, in the VERY distant future....I kill you. I am your Luthor. But even better than that! How?" Saho grins, apparently future-Saho is a competent badass, and...his Signal clone easily disintegrated the wall throw at him faster than anyone else could process. Anyone EXCEPT Zealot. How?

"When I said I made improvements...I meant it. In the future; I don't only KILL you....I CLONE you. This Signal clone? She's not only a gift from the future....she was cloned from YOU." Didn't you say YOU made her though, not your future-self?

"Yes. I planned that to throw you off. In fact. We're not even here. This what-if thread doesn't exist. Neither do we. I created it to toy with you all; this 'What If' is just a miniature universe created by my friend, Vladimir Valencruz, with my blueprints, help, design, and specifics. Why? All so I can play games" But.....that's

"Yes. I planned it all."

"...what. Okay, Theseus' boat can go to hell, I am seriously having an identity crisis here."

Signal curled up even further, gripping her head. She was left utterly confused by what was going on.

He moves move forward, stepping up on the bed now and looking down at her; shaking his head and twirling the wooden spear in his hand, he sighs and frowns.

"The metaphor doesn't fit; Theseus would replace the ship with the same kind of wood. What you have been replaced with...is termite infested wood. Rotting. Decomposing; yet...halted. And you spread this infection. You are not the same ship, because you are not of the same material."

Zealot is ignoring the many impossible things that Mange has to say when, suddenly, FUCK

Appearing from nowhere, a prettier, shorter, and skinner version of Zealot comes into the room.

"Stop fucking with time or I am going to age you into dust."

Signal uncurled herself, looked at the other Zealot here, and then recurled herself.

So now, on top of those identity issues, she had to deal with a master time manipulator and a brick powered by entropy. Fuck.

"Oh no, it's the other Zel. Hey, if you didn't become such a crippling, self-righteous, self-absorbed mass murderer I wouldn't have needed to do this. But that's okay. I planned for you too. I plan for everything, you see..." Mange then snapped his fingers, and in a flash a lightning....HE was there.

"Behold. Billions of years in the future, I travel back in time to try to make the world a better place. But not as Saho Mange, I return as..."

Spoiler:

Zeal was always all those things.

"Oh, gee. Justice. Fuck this."

And then time got reset.

I FORGET WHAT THEY CALLED IT IN CODE LYOKO SO JUST IMAGINE THAT HERE IF YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS

Signal was just chilling out at one of the city's cafés, minding her own business and drinking her iced soda. Today was a good day; she had just saved a burning bus full of blind children from being driven off a cliff (apparently hiring a bus driver with narcolepsy was a bad idea) and she was rewarding herself for a job well done with absolutely NO casualties what-so-ever.

She does, however, get the strangest sense of deja vu and disregards it as she heads for the bathroom.

Synapse' mind sputtered and failed as he attempted to figure out the time paradox and his lifeless (even moreso than usual) body fell from the roof he was perched upon, flattening three people to death.

Someone's gonna take the blame for this.

Behold, Saho Mange. A man, beyond man. In quiet contemplation for many things, he is there at the urinal....contemplating

"Let loose the floodgates! The mighty Mississippi flows free! Just then! Saho feels the need to look at his fellow man entering the men's room!" And so he does

"And...IT'S NOT A MAN AT ALL! It's one of those OTHER things! I forgot what they're called! Saho feels the need to finish his business, but, for some reason, just can't!

....wait...have I been here before? Ah, doesn't matter! I finished peeing this time around!" This time? Damnit Saho, you're not suppose to remember. Whatever, he zips up and turns around

"BUT HOLD IT....YOU CAN'T BE ONE OF THOSE OTHER THINGS CAUSE....THIS ISN'T THE LADIES' ROOM! SO YOU'RE NOT A LADY! THEN IT MUST BE OKAY! LOVE ME! I LOVE YOU! BEAT ME, HURT ME, STEP ON ME, BITE ME! RULE ME, MY QUEEN!"

Little did Saho know this was in actually the Ladies' Room. He didn't pee in a urinal and he wasn't standing by one....he just peed on the floor.

Signal took a good, long look at this strange man who had just peed on the floor and quickly stepped into a stall to finish her business, not even wanting to acknowledge this man.

This felt so familiar... but why?

She unzipped her pants and began to piss in the toilet.

"Go away," she tells the man flatly.