Ficitionia: The Royal City of Initt

Initt. The grandest city of all of Fictionia; which is located...uh...somewhere in Europe. But it is a great world superpower, maybe. Okay, they won't be winning any wars by themselves any time soon but whatever, it's a country okay? Why isn't on maps? They have weird politics. It's not a very big country; I mean hell they still have Kings and Queens and shit.

But it's TOTALLY a superpower. Kinda. Maybe. WHATEVER.

Flash forward to a swanky ass giant castle, it's all white and gold and glittery and shit. It's got some bigass gardens, some nice fountains and....it's nice, alright? It's a nice, bigass castle. Home of the royal family. It is here, we meet the newest protagonist for this thread: Prince Ashlynn Rivals the First.

Yeah, Ashlynn. He prefers just Ash, but uh...yeah. Incidentally, Ashlynn was voted cutest girl in all of this side of Europe.

"Princess Ashlynn, your mother brought you a new dress for your coronation." This woman was an attractive girl in her late 20s dressed as a maid. She was Ashlynn's caretaker for nearly about 4 years now and Ashlynn's best friend. Ash hates her. Incidentally she'll be important so let's name her....uh.....Betty. Yeah, that's totally a European name.

"....." Are you ready for the first lines ever spoken by my newest protagonist?

"I'm a male." Pretty key words, actually.

"Yes, yes, of course you are Princess-"

"Prince."

"Cess, but your mother had the "Warrior Princess" edition of the dress made, look, it's got little armor to go over your breasts, isn't that cute?"

"No."

Today was Ash's big day. The day he would officially become next in line for the throne (cause it has to be official, even though there's nobody else to do it) and when Ash would inherit his family's sacred sword: Slasherizord X.


"I've had enough of being look down upon. Today is the day I become King!" It's not, but okay.
"You, and everyone will else will heed proper respect for me. And by my blade, Fictionia will prosper and rule all!"

"....Ash..." Betty said, and continued, ".....Dawww, you're so adorable when you're angry. There there." She pets him. "You'll make a wonderous, Queen. But you really shouldn't crossdress. Oh, don't forget your tiara."

"...." Ash secretly likes the tiara. While he did manage to escape without makeup or a dress; he's still wearing a skirt. He's wearing pants too, but he did that to seem less gay. Long (well, to him), white, flowing cape behind him as he walks towards the chamber of the King and Queen; ready for anything that could challenge him.

"...Prince Ashlynn; why are you in a skirt and tiara?" His father sighs on his throne and rubs his eyes. Why. Why, of all his sons, did the fag have to survive?

"...Mother." Ash shots a back a simple answer that, unfortunately, cannot be contested.

"Aww. Why aren't you in the warrior princess dress? Did your stewardess not tell you about it?" His mother asks in delight, jumping up at seeing her....'daughter'.

"Still, the cross-dressing look is so cute on you! You make a such girly prince!" She giggled and hugged her son. Who could only scowls. 18 years of this shit; no more.

"...Father, my trials?"

"Oh. Right. Ah.....the trials for you inherit the sword and...take my place. Prince Ashlynn, you....like women, yes? Nevermind. Yours will be a trial of combat; since you thankfully are pretty damn good with a sword. Just, try not to fall and go 'kyaa' or something, okay?"

"Understood." Ash said simply and picked up a steel, double-sided long sword. Finally, Ash can do something that makes him feel manly and he's actually good at: Murdering the fuck out of shit with a sword. Still, the trials would not be easy. Ash would have to fight some truly horrific monsters in order to earn the sacred sword. And yeah, he'd probably die.

"WAIT!" Shouted Betty. "My Queen, I've brought Ashlynn's theme to which she will fight to!"

"My...theme? No. Please no."

"Prepare....ASHLYNN'S THEME"
And then three horrible zombie warriors were released into the throne room; with a battleaxe, dual swords, and a bow respectively. Also armor. But that didn't matter cause.

".....Baby come and rescue meee~ You can be my lover so~" Princy loves this kind of music. I suppose it's a fatal flaw. He knows it's girly. But he can't HELP it.

"La.La.lalala~ Turn it up, turn it up~" Princy easily dodged and parried enemy attacks in the rhythm of the music. More dancing than fighting really. One of the zombie warriors fires and arrow and.

"Baby come and rescue mee~" Deflected, Ash then drops low to the ground to avoid the oncoming attacks and rushes at the bow zombie; it backs away and tries to fire but Ash's movement is way too fast with the music coursing through him. He dodges and slices off the legs. As it falls backwards, Ash does a FABULOUS spin to get behind it and thrusts his blade through it's dead. Nicely done.

"You can be lover so~" Princy hums happily to himself as the battleaxe zombies brings it down vertically to slice him in two. But, oh! Princy gracefully sidesteps and counterattacks-the zombie loses it's hands. The next swing? Zombie loses his head.

"Ohmygosh, I LOVE this part!" Princy happily squeals and faces down the zombie with a blade. Ohhh, a swordfight with him. Yeah, not even worth describing. Ash curbstomps him.

"How was that?" Princy smiles and sheaths his sword happily. Not a spec of blood on his fancy white outfit. Yup, swordsmanship is something Ash dominates in.

"....that was the girliest massacre I've ever seen. Look, SON. Yeah, you can hack shit up but....I'm not letting you on the throne. Look at you. You're selfish, spoiled and....faggy. I banish you from our wondrous country and sentence you to earn a reputation as a Hero in a foreign land; only then will I name you worthy.

"WHAT?!" Ash was outraged. Goddamnit, I can't pick a nickname.

"Oh, but you were so beautiful honey! Here, take our sacred sword!."

"NO! Don't give-oh fine take it."

"Cool, what's it do?"

"You know nothing then? The Slashizord X is Fictionia's greatest weapon. A blade so brilliant it never rusts, needs cleaning, or needs to sharpen. Blood; anything really, slides right off. Like Teflon. The blade is also nearly indestructible. You'll be able to slice cleanly through weak metals and deflect bullets with no tear or strain on the sword."

"AND! It's soooo shiny you can see yourself, so use it to fix up your makeup or hair!" The Queen; with a weird amount of glee adds.

"That....all sounds impossible. How does it-"

"Magic."

"Magic.

"Magic."

Magic, I guess.

"That isn't good enough for me!'

"Fine, Princy. Long ago, your great x4 grandfather took this land back from it's hostile conquers. They were godless, horrific savages who took everything our great country had, except our faith. And so, in his most fateful hour; he prayed and our gods answered. A crash of lightning hit his sword and it became the single most enchanted blade in all of history, probably. That sword, blessed by our gods, is how he took these lands back. That's what you now hold in your hands. Geez, this is basic history for us you little shit."

"Oh yeah. I forgot that.....but seriously, BANISHMENT? To where?! Be a hero? How?! Why?! I'm a Prince; I killed some dumb zombies isn't that enough?! Where am I suppose to go now?"

"I don't care, fag. Pick a thread and do something heroic." And that's how Ash got his cool sword; and now, his adventure begins...